It's okay not to be okay

You know what really amazes me? How in 2016 mental health still has a big stigma attached to it's rear end. It is estimated in England that almost 1 in every 4 people will experience a mental health problem in any given year. So what do many people do to understand this type of illness? They do the opposite and just choose not to understand it.

I know and have known people to who have struggled with mental illnesses, I've experienced low points myself especially during University and more recently got diagnosed with anxiety. To be honest, I've never allowed myself to accept the anxiety and it's mainly down to these so called stigmas. I once told someone and laughed it off with them, I just put it down to awkwardness and change the subject abruptly or joke about it. But it's not a joke, I have to live with it. The impending doom of redness in situations that shouldn't even cause me embarassment but I can feel the heat radiating off my skin and the eyes on me as they giggle and say 'you're going red again'. Again, I laugh it off but inside it ruins me everyday. It stops me from having general conversations as I can feel myself firing up and I just quickly exit the situation. You know what the worst thing about anxiety is for me? That constant feel of worry and predicting the worst in every outcome, stopping yourself from doing things that most people don't even have to think about twice.

I've changed a lot these past few years and I have let go of a lot of things that were stopping me, but it's been such a hard battle from losing weight to finishing university to now doing something I never imagined; even putting my dreams on hold. But I'm still not there yet and sometimes I really have to question if I can change any more, I just want to not hold back on being myself in front of everyone and worrying about what they'll think. Finding someone who loves me for me and accepting that they do like me before I run them out of town because my anxiety takes over. I think the worst thing about mental illnesses though is the reception we receive in regards to them. I've got family members who just don't believe at a young age you can be depressed about anything and should be constantly happy because you have nothing to worry about. How cynical of them is that? I just don't understand it, or even those who refuse to believe any form of depression is a real thing.

I recently picked up 'Mindfulness for busy people' by Dr Michael Sinclair & Josie Seydel that aims to help you understand the art of mindfulness and how to adopt it into your hectic life to become a better a version of yourself. I've tried reading so many self help books but I just can't commit, my mind doesn't like focus. The last attempt of 'The Secret' ended abruptly as I just couldn't understand the point. But maybe this time I can open my mind into allowing myself to breathe more in conversations and under pressure, whilst stopping myself from going fire engine red in every conversation. It's not cute and awkward, it's just plain annoying. 
So to those who are currently going through tough times, my only advice is speak to someone, don't keep it in. It's not an easy journey to be on when things go rough, but being on that path with someone by your side is a big step towards

I would love to hear people's thoughts/processes on this, in general and if you struggle/have struggled what do you do to remain positive?

Until next time,



I am a sucker for beautiful architecture and fancy coffee shops and cake... Paris has plenty. I love how rich and cultured I feel just walking through the streets. Manchester is a beautiful city, but Paris is just above and beyond. It's everything in my eyes.

I've seen a fair few old places from New York to various European beauties but Paris.. ah Paris, is my favourite. The endless cafes filled with fancy people drinking expressos (how this is a thing is beyond me) the most beautiful of scenes like Montmartre, the latin quarter by Notre Damn, walking along the River Seine by the Eiffel Tower. It's breathtaking.  Even the apartment we stayed in was like something straight out of a film, the big white window with the apartment tops surrounding. I fell in love. So it's only right I write you all post to spam you with pictures of my trip, right? 

I took my baby sister Demi for an 18th birthday present (no1 sister), we headed out for 4 whole days, shopped, ate our body weight and more in food, more food, walked the city in awe, headed to disneyland and talked. It sounds lame but I feel as though I learnt more about the person she is and the wonderful woman she's grew into in those 4 days than I have picked up over the past couple of years. It was my 6th time in Paris and the last 2 have been the best, I've been able to understand and appreciate more. But more than anything it felt an honour walking the streets, amongst the French who banded together through love of their city and country when times recently seemed tough.

I mean look at this window?! I'm gonna interpret my whole flats theme around the bloody window.

Are you not in love? I'll have to admit it was absolutely freezing cold. But that just made the sun look prettier and buildings shine out for all to see. I'm determined to pick up French this year and make my next trip even more enjoyable. I even ate SNAILS. SNAILS! Go me, they were nice too. (I disgust myself saying it). In true Chelsey style, I leave you with a Go Pro video from our mini adventure.

Happy Birthday Dem,



New Digs

During my hiatus from blogging a few things changed! I became a real adult and moved into my own flat with scary bills like council tax and TV licence, it's terrifyingly exciting. But I'm getting there. I wanted to show you all my little place, it's definitely Chelsey-fied now. Few changes and things to be added, but on a small budget I've done well so far.

What do you think? It's my favourite little place, I charity shopped, I gumtree-d, I was given. I pulled everything together and now I have a home. A huge thanks to my Mum as well for somehow transporting the contents of this flat form her poor car and my Dad for lugging it up a flight of stairs. The only thing I really need now is the summer, because electric heaters ARE PANTS YOU GUYS.  But it's okay because I have a cute puppy who cheers me up every day, especially when she's biting walls and turning on the TV when I'm out. Bloody Doris.

Just a quick one, to share my crib. I think MTV would be proud.
Until next time,


My City | Manchester

We're all partial to a bit of home city moaning. The 'I would rather be anywhere but here' or the 'I wish I would've be born somewhere else'... but have you ever sat still and taken in your surroundings?
I'm from sunny Manchester and I think I've hit that stage of life where I love it here. Don't get me wrong I'm still desperate to see more, do more. But the thought of returning home to Manchester has a certain warmth to it; the atmosphere, the people (sometimes), the night life, hell even the day life.

My Dad's a proud Mancunian so for his birthday a couple of months back me and my little sister went on a city adventure to take pictures for a canvas I gave to him. We walked for miles visiting the places my Dad grew up around, or places artists he adores took inspiration from. I wanted to recreate Manchester in pictures as if it hadn't aged. (Unlike the 49 years my Dad has, ha!)

Isn't it amazing how old fashioned and fabulous it looks? So much history rich in a our cities, surrounding us. I think that's what lacks nowadays, we don't know enough about our roots; the city we grew up in. Museums aren't as popular as they used to be yet they educate us on how without our cities we wouldn't be here now. I think almost every city across the UK has had some important part to play in our history and our victories across the years. Famous for the Romans in Castlefield, the Industrial Revolution and the Manchester Blitz, there's so much to learn from our past.

I'm curious to learn, are you proud of where you've come from? What awesomeness does your city behold? Let me know, I feel inclined to make a blogger history lesson haha. I love city scape photography, it captures everything we see daily as a stand still as it was then but also as it is now. No real changes.

My Dad loved his canvas and I'm hoping to create more of Manchester and other cities to sell later on in the year. What d'ya reckon?

 Until next time,


January Goals

Happy New Year! 

I hope you spent your January 1st lay in bed curled in a ball, throwing up... because I did!!! Next year, I'm staying in bed in my pyjamas. I've already planned it, it's an anti-NYE party. I still can't believe it's 2016, this past year has gone so quick. It's scary really, I hope this year is the year it all changes for me.

My resolutions (intentions haha)
1. Give up all chocolate bars and takeaways 
Highlight hot chocolates do not count, says me period. Giving up wispas is bad enough? I'm starting this one on January 16th because I'm going to Paris and Disneyland and intend to lavish in chocolatey goodness. Does that count? Maybe I'll re-word it to all chocolate bars in the UK...
2. Attempt to save and see more of the world.
Living alone really takes a knock on effect in my bank account, all my savings have been rinsed but I'm going to attempt again bit by bit. I'm planning on Inter-railing in May, so that's definitely something to save towards.
3. Rejoin the gym and take up running
I did so well until leaving Uni, time to kickstart my health for the year... with a week off for Paris haha
4. Be creative
I've got to put my degree to use somehow right?! But I want to take more photos, make videos, blog more, write more and read more.
5. Find a career worth getting up for
I'm tired of doing something I don't love, spending day after day in the same routine, having no life, work work work, I'm all for growing up and adulting it but surely there's more to it than this?
6. Find more to be happy about
I like to voice my opinions, more so than smiling at times. I think because I'm at a certain halt I tend to draw more negatives than positives, but 2016 I need to reverse that. I've not got enough unhappiness surrounding me to continue being unhappy. Happy is the new beauty.

I think the last point (and the job) is my main aim, I mentioned it in my previous post but I've spent so long being bitter at everything and even everyone, it's time I found my own happy medium and began my own life, stress free. Let's hope 2016 is the best one yet.

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