A New Chapter

As I sit here coffee in hand, assignments rotating around my brain, I've been thinking back on the past 3 years of my life. I've done a lot of growing up physically and emotionally, Uni has tested me and pushed me beyond my limits which in the long run is a good thing but I can honestly say I don't think it's been for me, or at least the route of study I took.

I was mislead and given false hope, like you've probably read before in my rambles but I'm a strong believer in having your own choice and I think when growing up we're mislead into what opportunities are out there for us; being given the impression that going to University is the only path to success and accomplishment. That is wrong, as I embark on a new journey and a career that has took a slight off course route I couldn't be more terrifyingly excited for where I'm going to end up, something University has never given me. Don't get me wrong, some degrees are needed as they give you the skills and the knowledge to go into an amazing career, but a lot of degrees nowadays aren't worthy enough; we could get the skills and more being in the industry first hand and learning practically. Not what some old guy has to throw at you in a lecture theater that's outdated and they probably haven't really got a clue either. I've spent far too long in my own shadow that I kept losing sight of the shore, I work myself up so much to the point that I don't want to carry on because the fear of failure takes over, but no more. I have so much to give and take from the world that I intend on living every experience to the extreme. The dreams I've had for so long will be accomplished and a piece of paper I've been awarded with to define me into a certain life category won't play any part of that.

However it isn't all bad, I've almost kicked a degree's arse that at many times I thought was impossible, I've met some amazing people and I've had some amazing adventures. I've become the best version of myself and I found happiness in the long run, pulling myself out of the rut I was in for so long. I have spent far too long worrying about people's opinions and lived my life tip-toeing around them, but I've found the balance and I say no more. My lecturer went round on the first day of year 1 and took a picture of us all to prove that in year 3 a lot of us wouldn't be there and to say 'how far we've come' but the biggest accomplishment of all for me is becoming the version of me I'm proud of. If I could go back and have a 5 minute chat with myself, I'd probably be coming out of my degree having a more positive experience (I probably wouldn't still be in this degree if that could've happened, if only!).
So, 3 year ago Chelsey with the excitement still shining in your eyes, you did it. Well done. If I take anything away from these few years it's the drive and motivation I've found myself to have. Although I've cried and stressed and screamed and shouted, I didn't give up. I've stuck it out, I've had all my ducks in a row from day one. I've worked through the 3 years and financed myself because student loans don't finance the average, and I've come out of this place with my head held high and all my priorities are in place.
For now who know's what is in store for me, but I'm beginning to realise that if we wake up each day with a positive mindset, positive things will happen, and to everyone who's been a part of my journey (and stuck through all the stress and nagging) thank you. I couldn't be the person I am today without you.


Be who YOU want to be.

I've been off the exercise/healthy eating band wagon for a weeks and I've never felt worse about myself. It's like I can't stop but I hate it when I'm doing it. I'm constantly in a state of worry about my appearance and weight, something I've never experienced before and I don't like it. I've been on this lifestyle change for just over a year and a half now and although I've never been happier when I look in the mirror, emotionally it's ruined my mind. All my brain thinks about is calories and carbs and the size of the jeans I'm wearing. I've grew up in the shadows of my pretty friends and I've always been that bit bigger than those around me. So these past two years I've taken the time to try and change what I didn't like or more so what others didn't like.

In creating yourself for someone to see, you are losing who you were truly meant to be. 

I've just come across this quote and it really made me think about my actions and the mindset I'm currently in. I've spent SO much time trying to be that person I thought everybody else wanted; what society wanted that I lost some of Chelsey along the way. Don't get me wrong I don't want to go back into the person I used to be and I'm sure the food worry will never truly disappear, I've made myself healthier and fitter but I lost that spark that made me, me along the way. I look back at 15/16 year old me and I had the world at my feet, I had so many hopes and dreams and I was happy being that version of me. I was this happy go-getting bubbly kid that didn't have a care in the world. I don't really know what I'm getting at with this post but I felt like I needed to get it off my chest; after eating bad for the past few weeks it's brought me down lower than I have been in awhile. I think the pile up of stress with finishing Uni in two weeks whilst trying to finish my endless assignments, working what feels like hundreds of hours, running a marathon, finishing one job and starting a new one has gotten to me. Life is happening and I don't like it?!?!??!

I guess we just have to take these moments sometimes, let our brain work overtime in worrying and hopefully wake up with them all gone away. I just think there's so much pressure out there nowadays in feeling right and looking perfect otherwise we're just outcasts. I'll never be society's definition of perfect and I'm okay with that but why should there be a definition of perfect in today's society? We're big, small, round, thin, curvy and we're all perfect right? Maybe society should constantly remind us of that. You don't have to be a size 0, just be healthy and happy. As long as you've got that you've cracked it. These next few weeks I'm going to get back on track physically and emotionally, I have to focus on my happiness and think positively, because then positive things will happen. As long as we maintain that mindset I'm sure we can defy everything and what society perceives as 'perfect' can kiss my arse.

Be you and stay beautiful guys.


New Brighton part deux

So to celebrate national sibling day I spent the day with one of my lovely sisters, we're quite a close family and my two sisters are definitely my best friends so seeing them when I'm not in Uni or working is a quite an honour. Demi came down to Liverpool to stay with me and since the weather was beautiful we had to venture out. A couple of months ago we went to New Brighton but the weather was ice cold, the waves were crashing and I swear the wind was painful! So we thought we'd go check it out whilst the sun has began to shine.

It was such a nice little day, the atmosphere was buzzing and everybody was happy to see the sun. I love that as Brits it's law that as soon as there is some sun we must run to the nearest beach, pitch our tents and bring out the buckets and spades. So after a quick shopping session in Liverpool we got the train under the Mersey drank Starbucks, played bowling (I'm so awful), ate ice cream, walked along the sea front, drank far too many cocktails and ate far too much food.


I'd definitely check out the hungry horse pub and restaurant they've got there if you ever go. The food is sooooooo good! two meals for £8.99 and this whopper of a starter... oops. Quick post but overall a lovely national siblings day. A break in life that I definitely needed. Now all I crave is a ruddy holiday!!!

I'm starting back at Uni next week for my final two weeks, then I go straight into my new job and the real world. I'm excited and scared and scared but here goes, no turning back. I also recently won a £50 voucher for the Manchester Arndale shopping centre, so I'll brag and post about it when I've collected and spent my winnings, how exciting. For now, I need to get back on my diet, revise for my exams and enjoy my last bit of student life. (Still don't know what 'adult' is!)

Until next time world. I hope life's throwing shit loads of lemons at you and you're making some cool ass lemonade.


Time flies

Do you ever plan all these great blog posts and then you blink and times gone? I kept thinking 'Oh I'll blog about that' then there just wasn't a time when I was at my laptop... but, hello! I've had a jammed packed week and ate so much food I'm avoiding any scales for weeks (no regrets though we gotta enjoy ourselves once in awhile) this post is probably going to end up equally as mismatched as this previous. But hey ho, let's go with the flow?

Last Sunday I took my Mum out for her birthday to 'Bills Restaurant' in Manchester, I always walk past the Liverpool one on the way to the gym and was desperate to go so it was the perfect opportunity!

A mean a picture speaks a thousands words and this one is divine, I'd definitely recommend it to anyone. I had the sweet chilli and yoghurt sauce hummus burger with halloumi cheese, baby gem and red peppers. As a meat eater I can honestly say it was one of the best burgers I've ever eaten, paired with an Amaretto sour and a banoffee pie for dessert soooooooooooo good. The restaurant has the coolest of interiors, the friendliest of staff and the nicest of food reasonably priced, the quality is there. What more could you ask for? I think my Mum had a super day and it brought her birthday in a day early being treated like the Queen she deserves to be.
Afterwards and a lot of money later, we relaxed with a coffee whilst me and my sister made these super cool tops (check out Dom&Ink on Twitter here). The Manchester Arndale had them in and if you spent over £60 that day you could design a top for free and have it printed, we spent enough for 2 and whipped up these bad boys. Cool huh?

Another food related topic, NANDOS. I'm a huge chicken lover and Nandos is my weakness; lemon & herb thighs, chips, garlic bread with a bottomless soda. Oh chicken, you had me at hello. So my excitement hit the roof when they announced they were introducing sweet potato wedges to the menu along with a barbecue thigh burger and other random things. So when I got the chance to go, how could I refuse?! And after anxiously waiting for my order to arrive.... well, I can't say I'm sold. The taste is there, the weird mix of dipping sauce and mixed seeds somehow but weirdly works, however, they're just too dam soggy and you get... five chunks of wedges. They need to re-evaluate the menu for Chelseys sake introducing crispy sweet potato bucket of fries, anybody else with me? I need a sweet potato nandos revolution because although I ate enough for a family of 3, I just didn't leave with the same satisfaction. Please fix this Mrs Nandos!!!

Other than that it's been a busy week for me, I've been stripping walls and buying a bed as I prepare for a move back to Manchester to start my new job on April 27th, along with finishing an old job on April 25th with some of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting all whilst trying to balance finishing my degree (which is so stressful right now) and pretend to have a social life. I'm starting new and venturing into territory so unknown to me, it's terrifying but I like to think I'm ready. We need to be thrown out of our comforts zones once every now and again, I'm on the other side of the world when it comes to mine this week. I've taken steps I didn't think I could do. After years of struggling with happiness and self acceptance and battling my inner demons I think I'm finally reaching the point where I'm proud of how far I've come and how many changes I've implemented to make my life better and I just hope that carries on. Be happy and happiness will follow. If you give out positive vibes, positive things will happen. There isn't a secret to life, you are the secret and sometimes you need to remind yourself that you're doing the best you can. Just set yourself daily or weekly goals and go from there but above all try and believe in yourself.

Have an amazing Easter break world, onwards and upwards from now on.

Until next time,

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