'The one where I just blab'

Do you ever just sit and stare at your surroundings, taking everything in and constantly wish for more?


First of all I feel I should thank those who took the time to read my previous post (a letter to 15 year old me). The response was amazing and I just felt so humbled, 15 year old me was a lovely person and it was nice seeing people remember that version of me, it was one of the happiest times of my life and I'd give anything to go back and give myself some advice. It's amazing when people tell you the way you write is amazing, I don't write that often but when I do I'm usually writing as an escape to reality and the every day stresses that surround me.

I'm currently using that escape to procrastinate the hell out of doing Uni work. I'm just so unmotivated at the moment that any small task seems like climbing a mountain. The closer I get to the end the further away it feels, I'm just in a constant state of wanderlust and the thought of wasting anymore time in this god forsaken place I call 'home' for now drives me insane. The walls I am immersed in are plastered in quotes and pictures of better times and maps to places I've visited or dream of losing myself in. I just long for the sites I've never seen, the people I've never met and the food I've never tasted.

I feel there's been so much pressure on me lately to succeed, my parents, other family members, co-workers and the never ending questions about where I'm heading next in my career or why I'm not aiming for something in my degree area. Honestly, I can't give them an answer. I don't know where I want to be, but is that so wrong? I'm only 21? Surely I shouldn't have to know exactly where and what I want to be going, yes some people do but I just have so many dreams and there's so much out there I've not experience why can't I experience it?

My only ambition right now is to see the world for what it truly is, capture it through the lens of my GoPro and make memories and videos that will last me for a lifetime. I intend on sharing my stories and never regretting the decision I make. Surely the life we were given was meant to be lived in the way we wanted? And not in some structure defined and wrote out by society. In January 2017 I intend on living the only dream I can ever remember having and never losing sight of.

'you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling'

~

So from me to you on this grey Tuesday morning when my final year project should me being made, thanks for taking your time to read my posts, it means a lot. Have you got any dreams and life ambitions that you intend on carrying out? Good luck, go get them.

Chels
xo


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