'The one where I just blab'

Do you ever just sit and stare at your surroundings, taking everything in and constantly wish for more?


First of all I feel I should thank those who took the time to read my previous post (a letter to 15 year old me). The response was amazing and I just felt so humbled, 15 year old me was a lovely person and it was nice seeing people remember that version of me, it was one of the happiest times of my life and I'd give anything to go back and give myself some advice. It's amazing when people tell you the way you write is amazing, I don't write that often but when I do I'm usually writing as an escape to reality and the every day stresses that surround me.

I'm currently using that escape to procrastinate the hell out of doing Uni work. I'm just so unmotivated at the moment that any small task seems like climbing a mountain. The closer I get to the end the further away it feels, I'm just in a constant state of wanderlust and the thought of wasting anymore time in this god forsaken place I call 'home' for now drives me insane. The walls I am immersed in are plastered in quotes and pictures of better times and maps to places I've visited or dream of losing myself in. I just long for the sites I've never seen, the people I've never met and the food I've never tasted.

I feel there's been so much pressure on me lately to succeed, my parents, other family members, co-workers and the never ending questions about where I'm heading next in my career or why I'm not aiming for something in my degree area. Honestly, I can't give them an answer. I don't know where I want to be, but is that so wrong? I'm only 21? Surely I shouldn't have to know exactly where and what I want to be going, yes some people do but I just have so many dreams and there's so much out there I've not experience why can't I experience it?

My only ambition right now is to see the world for what it truly is, capture it through the lens of my GoPro and make memories and videos that will last me for a lifetime. I intend on sharing my stories and never regretting the decision I make. Surely the life we were given was meant to be lived in the way we wanted? And not in some structure defined and wrote out by society. In January 2017 I intend on living the only dream I can ever remember having and never losing sight of.

'you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling'

~

So from me to you on this grey Tuesday morning when my final year project should me being made, thanks for taking your time to read my posts, it means a lot. Have you got any dreams and life ambitions that you intend on carrying out? Good luck, go get them.

Chels
xo


Dear 15 year old me,


Hello me!

I remember being 15 well; savour it all this is the best year. You meet your favourite celebrity in the world and get to watch your favourite show film whilst writing a report for the Doctor Who Magazine. You get the chance to be an extra in St Trinians II, but above all you’re happy.

Hold on to that happiness and the confidence and the ‘you don’t care about the way you look’ because I’m afraid it runs out. You’re beautiful inside and out and nobody should ever have the right to tell you otherwise, when they do don’t listen to them because we’re right and they’re wrong. But don’t worry it gets better, you eventually learn to take time to appreciate yourself and the changes that come with that makes you more self aware of your appearance (but we totally rock). The only enemy is yourself and what you see in the mirror is still going to be there next time you look in it, so stare intensely and realise that the flaws you see staring back are what makes you, you.

Now I know you’re going to immediately fall in love with everything you see on set of Doctor Who, let it. Let it consume you and day dream about how one day you’re going to become a kick ass journalist or producer or camera operator but maybe open your eyes up to the industry more. It’s not everything you imagined (spoiler: there’s maths!), don’t let the education system determine your path for success and when you go into Year 11 next term don’t be fooled by teachers advice. You DO NOT have to go to university to make it in life; you don’t have to have a degree to do something you love, just pick up a camera, aim, shoot and smile. Don’t let your love for it run out because I’m afraid it does. It expires in a sense and our eyes get opened up by what’s out there which isn't that much. But don't let that ruin things, stick at it, it's so much more fun when you're doing it for yourself. I can't promise that I know where we're going to end up but we're us so I'm sure it's going to be awesome (maybe revisit your love for Health and Social Care before High School Ends).

There’s always going to be times where you’re up and down like a roller coaster but try and stay more up than down? Friends are going to let you down and those who you imagined to grow old with break your metaphorical friendship heart but accept it and move on, when you get to this age you look back and realise they were the ones that brought you down. You shouldn't aspire to be anybody else but yourself. Oh and family members you idolise are going to make your world collapse but stick with those that matter most. Mum and Dad will always be the best and most annoying people in your life, show them more love they deserve it. If anything learn to let go, don't over think so much and maybe converse with others more. Your awkwardness is cute but in later years can prove a pain when dealing with life. Oh and no we never manage to fix the 'going red at any second' button. It's a pale curse my friend.

But above all, don’t ever give up on your dreams. They define you. 15 year old Chelsey Lamb who’s smile never really fades! With a pocketful of dreams and a heartful of TV shows, an obsession that thankfully dies out with Twilight and the worst fringe known to man. I thank you for giving me the determination to be the person I am now.

Thanks 15 year old me, I hope 21 year old Chelsey is living up to your expectations. Stay geeky.
Goodbye old friend.

From both me and you

PS Things that haven’t changed
- You still hate veg and broccoli somehow only to us tastes like fish
- McFly are still as awesome as ever, sadly plus two but that’s a long story
- David Tennant is still the greatest human to exist, not many people understand that but we know they’re wrong
- The world is still as amazing as ever and I’ll make you proud one day and see it’s very depths
- Bones is still the best show.


xo

Saturday Liverpool adventures

So with all the stress of University and deadlines and working and general life, today has cured all them bad days. You know the kind of days where just talking makes everything feel better and you and your company don't get tired of each other.

I've been lucky to get the last few weekends off work so me and my best friend Catie went to The Egg Cafe in Liverpool, it's a lovely little vegan/vegetarian hide away in an attic down a side street with the loveliest of vibes. I'm not a vegetarian myself but I definitely love the sound of the food they have on offer. We went for breakfast and had their scrambled eggs on toast (the toast is literally the size of your head! My kinda breakfast) it was lovely. If you're ever in Liverpool I defintely recommend going, we've been a few times and it's just such a nice place to sit and talk. I'm holding on to my coffee shop dreams of meeting the love of your life whilst sipping on a latte. That happens right?








We then did some retail therapy, if my bank account wasn't crying before then it's definitely feeling emotional tonight. But I think I did alright! I got two turtleneck tops from Primark at £6 each, the cardigan was £5 reduced and the teal top was from Forever 21 and an awesome £1.47! I also got some new necklaces and earrings. Pretty cute I think and I only spent about £35. It feels so good to try clothes on and like myself in them now. I wish I'd have took a picture of what Catie bought cos she looked smokinnnnnnnnnn' 






I also got these cute postcard prints from Paperchase, you know I love a good quote!


My FAVOURITE purchase has to be my new friend, meet Spud the Cactus.


Sorry for the photo spam, I just had a really lovely day. It ended with coffee back at mine with my friend Emma and now I'm going to do some Uni work with a smile on my face. Have a super weekend world. What do you guys do to recharge your weekly energy? I leave you with this.


Chels
xo

Long time since the playground

I was in my 'stairs longingly out of the window with head phones in and pretend you're in a music video' mode on my way to work the other day and as I passed a primary school I noticed all the kids running around in their own little element and their only worries being which friend they'd argued with today and I just thought isn't it scary how quickly we grow up?

And now I enter 2015 as a 21 year old almost graduate with a list of maybe ambitions and a degree that's worth nothing. I know you've probably heard my education rants over and over but it just makes me so angry as I've literally wasted 3 years of my life. Last year I was so full of anger and hatred and stress that I took it on the world, I've come to terms with the fact that university made me that way. Everything annoyed me, my temper was so short and only now am I realising this. This past year especially the latter half has been such an eye opener to me. I've finally learnt to accept myself for who I am and what I look like, don't get me wrong there's still so much I need to do to get to my happy point but I know the journey I need to take. I've also realised that I need to focus on me, my life and where I want go before opening myself up to others.

It's just terrifying because all I've ever known is education but what if I leave and flunk? I have careers constantly floating around my head daily from an air hostess to a nurse in the British army. Will there be a time when I think yes that's my career?! I'm an over thinker and always will be but the uncertainty of not knowing where my life is going scares me especially when my heart was in media for so long and these past 3 years has just ripped all the ambition and drive within me.

What do you want to be when you grow up? I just want to be happy.

Chels
xo

Wintery adventure

So for Christmas I got a very lovely GoPro Hero 4 that will one day accompany me on my worldwide travels. I finally got to take it out for a spin on a very cold and windy day trip with my little sister who's visiting me in Liverpool for the weekend! We got the underground to New Brighton for a few hours before the cold and wind and giant waves became too much for us.

For those who've had the pleasure of using a GoPro before they're lovely aren't they? The 4 comes with wifi built in and a touch screen I feel oh so fancy. The quality of the photos are epic and the fish eye just makes the world seem like a cooler place. 









Cool aren't they? It's been such a simplistic day, I love being close to my family it just makes my life that bit nicer being surrounded in their love. We ended the day filling our faces in chicken wings at hungry horse and now we're having a movie night. Taken followed by The Fault in Our Stars with huge amounts of Apple juice. My kind of Saturday! How's your week and start of 2015 been? 

Also a huge thank you to those who donated to me for my skydive, over £500 has been raised for Mind Mental Health! My skydive is two weeks today AH! It's not too late to donate if you'd like. 
www.justgiving.co.uk/chelsey-lamb


Peace, love and stay awesome
Chels
xoxo


'For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness'




Hello 2015


I don’t know why but I’ve found myself writing the odd blog post over the past few months and I just haven’t felt like pressing the share button. I found myself in a constant cycle of sadness and yearning for my childhood to come back because adult life is scary and I have no clue where I'm going and what I even want to do. I’ve been up and down and up down but 2015 is the year that I accomplish things, the year I realise I’m my only key to positivity and happiness.

I am truly going to try and post at least once a week for my own sake, a kind of release if you like. 2014 wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good, I made some lovely memories from holidaying with my family to Paris with my Grandma, turning 21, finishing my second year of University but also loved ones passed away , my Dad has been off ill for 10 months now and I became far too obsessed with what other people thought of me.
So, 2015 is the year I’m going to attempt to change this and in a few months I’ll be rid of the degree that’s made me so darn happy but I can’t change the choices I made now, I’ll just have to learn and move on from them.
 
Things I want to accomplish in 2015:
  • Graduate with a piece of paper I’m proud of even if the qualification doesn’t define me
  • Get better with money and save like a bitch… the world is my oyster now and I intend to see it’s very depths
  • Learn to like myself for who I am, I’ll never be a size 8 beautiful creation but that doesn’t mean I’m not beautiful
  • Let go of the insecurities and anxieties that hold me back, I’ll never meet anyone if I don’t learn to love myself first
  • Smile more and wake up telling myselfit’s going to be a good day, happiness is within
  • 'What's on my mind?' or in '140 characters or less' doesn't help me live life or express who I am, limit my time on social media and focus on my studies
I leave you with some of my favourite photos/memories of the past year, I will try to blog more but sometimes life takes over, I intend to live it from now on and I honestly can't wait for the day me and my go pro explore the world, the world is intended to be explored so don't hold back on yourself. If people stand in the way of your dreams or hold you as an individual back then they aren't worth having around. May your 2015 be amazing bloggers.

 'She believed she could, so she did'


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