I'm using this post as a medium for letting out my current sadness. My Dad has been pretty ill the past few days after a big operation and is currently fighting infections and himself. I know he's going to be fine but the more I see him, the less I recognise him.

The strong minded, stubborn and pain in the ass I know and love so well isn't there at the moment and it breaks my heart. Yesterday I saw my Dad break down into tears for the first time in my 20 years of breathing; seeing someone you've always admired for their willpower and ability to carry on no matter what life throws at you is just heart wrenching. It really does just show you that every body is human and we can break so easily.

So Dad, if you ever get the chance to read this just know I love you with every ounce of my body and I'm so proud of all you've given us. The little intermediate family we have is the best gift life can ever give me and I am so grateful for all the love I've been given and still receive. I'd much rather you be sat shouting at me and giving me orders to seeing you lay depressed in a hospital bed. I love you old man. I look forward to topping your brew up and being refused ownership of the remote very soon.

To anybody that's going through the same pain or has ever lost a close loved one just know I admire you, you're so strong and brave. 

Chels :(


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