Making it count

Over the past few years I've spent far too much time wishing for things to change, dreaming of better days and wanting my life to be different. But if 2016 taught me anything, it's that everything happens for reason and 'accepting' what we're given isn't a bad thing.

For some 2016 sucked, for the world 2016 treated us badly but for me 2016 made me transition into the version of myself that kicked so much arse and experienced some amazing things. This year my new years resolution is just solely to continue that mindset, live each day with the same amount of happiness and love as I did the day before, experience new things and even relive the same things over and over that I know make me happy. Whilst trying not to overthink every tiny little situation that presents itself and causes my anxiety to surface.

I've tried everything possible at times to soothe my ever-worrying mind, I've read self help books and attempt to understand this so called 'Secret' life presents us with. But I am slowly coming to the realisation that we are the key to our own happiness, we must surround ourselves with fabulous people, fall in love, try new things and learn to appreciate ourselves a little bit more. Take time to get to know yourself and what makes you happy, don't fixate yourself on why other people are happy and you're not. We're all fighting our own battles, we just deal with them differently.

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of time, if one only remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore ϟ

I'll be honest 2016 was the year I found my own feet, learned to accept myself more for the person I've become and found that being loved by another, truly does make you see the world a little differently. But by having the right person by your side helps you conquer the bad thoughts and put them to the back of your mind allowing the good ones to shine through. Don't wait till you've reached your goal to be proud of yourself, be proud of yourself for every step you take reaching it.

I guess what I'm really getting at with the post is it's ok to doubt yourself, it's ok to want bigger things and it's ok to think 'what if' but what if those thoughts are the ones holding you back. I went into 2016 with so many dreams and resolutions that I thought I had to achieve to be happy as an individual but I didn't, I just needed to accept what I was given and work towards making myself happy with that. Achieve grater if I truly desired and surround myself with people I love and love me for being the awkward idiot I am. So if you read this and you know me, thank you for being by my side, always. If you're reading this and don't know me just sit back and list the things that you have in your life that are positives and work from there. We've got this.

So here's to 2017, make it count.




Chels
xo

It's okay not to be okay


You know what really amazes me? How in 2016 mental health still has a big stigma attached to it's rear end. It is estimated in England that almost 1 in every 4 people will experience a mental health problem in any given year. So what do many people do to understand this type of illness? They do the opposite and just choose not to understand it.

I know and have known people to who have struggled with mental illnesses, I've experienced low points myself especially during University and more recently got diagnosed with anxiety. To be honest, I've never allowed myself to accept the anxiety and it's mainly down to these so called stigmas. I once told someone and laughed it off with them, I just put it down to awkwardness and change the subject abruptly or joke about it. But it's not a joke, I have to live with it. The impending doom of redness in situations that shouldn't even cause me embarassment but I can feel the heat radiating off my skin and the eyes on me as they giggle and say 'you're going red again'. Again, I laugh it off but inside it ruins me everyday. It stops me from having general conversations as I can feel myself firing up and I just quickly exit the situation. You know what the worst thing about anxiety is for me? That constant feel of worry and predicting the worst in every outcome, stopping yourself from doing things that most people don't even have to think about twice.

I've changed a lot these past few years and I have let go of a lot of things that were stopping me, but it's been such a hard battle from losing weight to finishing university to now doing something I never imagined; even putting my dreams on hold. But I'm still not there yet and sometimes I really have to question if I can change any more, I just want to not hold back on being myself in front of everyone and worrying about what they'll think. Finding someone who loves me for me and accepting that they do like me before I run them out of town because my anxiety takes over. I think the worst thing about mental illnesses though is the reception we receive in regards to them. I've got family members who just don't believe at a young age you can be depressed about anything and should be constantly happy because you have nothing to worry about. How cynical of them is that? I just don't understand it, or even those who refuse to believe any form of depression is a real thing.

I recently picked up 'Mindfulness for busy people' by Dr Michael Sinclair & Josie Seydel that aims to help you understand the art of mindfulness and how to adopt it into your hectic life to become a better a version of yourself. I've tried reading so many self help books but I just can't commit, my mind doesn't like focus. The last attempt of 'The Secret' ended abruptly as I just couldn't understand the point. But maybe this time I can open my mind into allowing myself to breathe more in conversations and under pressure, whilst stopping myself from going fire engine red in every conversation. It's not cute and awkward, it's just plain annoying. 
So to those who are currently going through tough times, my only advice is speak to someone, don't keep it in. It's not an easy journey to be on when things go rough, but being on that path with someone by your side is a big step towards
positivity.

I would love to hear people's thoughts/processes on this, in general and if you struggle/have struggled what do you do to remain positive?

Until next time,

Chels
xo

Paris

I am a sucker for beautiful architecture and fancy coffee shops and cake... Paris has plenty. I love how rich and cultured I feel just walking through the streets. Manchester is a beautiful city, but Paris is just above and beyond. It's everything in my eyes.

I've seen a fair few old places from New York to various European beauties but Paris.. ah Paris, is my favourite. The endless cafes filled with fancy people drinking expressos (how this is a thing is beyond me) the most beautiful of scenes like Montmartre, the latin quarter by Notre Damn, walking along the River Seine by the Eiffel Tower. It's breathtaking.  Even the apartment we stayed in was like something straight out of a film, the big white window with the apartment tops surrounding. I fell in love. So it's only right I write you all post to spam you with pictures of my trip, right? 

I took my baby sister Demi for an 18th birthday present (no1 sister), we headed out for 4 whole days, shopped, ate our body weight and more in food, more food, walked the city in awe, headed to disneyland and talked. It sounds lame but I feel as though I learnt more about the person she is and the wonderful woman she's grew into in those 4 days than I have picked up over the past couple of years. It was my 6th time in Paris and the last 2 have been the best, I've been able to understand and appreciate more. But more than anything it felt an honour walking the streets, amongst the French who banded together through love of their city and country when times recently seemed tough.

I mean look at this window?! I'm gonna interpret my whole flats theme around the bloody window.

Are you not in love? I'll have to admit it was absolutely freezing cold. But that just made the sun look prettier and buildings shine out for all to see. I'm determined to pick up French this year and make my next trip even more enjoyable. I even ate SNAILS. SNAILS! Go me, they were nice too. (I disgust myself saying it). In true Chelsey style, I leave you with a Go Pro video from our mini adventure.


Happy Birthday Dem,

Chels

xo

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